lady in black

The advice

Fri, 13 May 2011 18:39:13 GMT

Being nervous all day long, she knows something will happen but she doesn’t know when or what?! She gets near to the window. The sun is setting, horizon is red, black birds flapping on horizon is seen from the far. Like a prisoner in the prison, something in her chest is restless but it's not her heart. She knows it's a creature which is made by her lord and her love to him. Despite, it moves a lot and irritates her; she loves it as a part of body. "What do you want little creature?" she begs. A voice from inside shouts "Let me free! Just let me come out and take revenge from you and your love!" She feels vomiting. Nothing will make this feeling better except one thing! The red liquid, BLOOD. A tear fells down on her check. This happened whenever she hears the name of her lord.

The moon shines from behind the clouds; still she is in front of window, rocking on her chair and gazing to the moon. It seems the moon wants to tell her something. The moonlight and the wolves' howl like a battle drum are too much mysterious; inviting her to a ceremony. She reassures a fight is going to happen.

Every where is foggy. A black knight on a white horse, armored from the head to the toe and a sword in the hand, is becoming appeared through the fog, climbing the hill up. Getting to down of the hill; a dark man who is wearing a unique armor in wolf's shape is waiting for someone to come. The black knight takes out the sword and rides to him. The dark lord has an attraction which makes the knight get off from the horse. It is battle, but a battle for two that should be a horrible duel among them.

They walk to each other, their eyes are fixed together as they know each other, and every move has a reaction, like two lovers sharing a dance. The dark lord stops suddenly, as he realizes something. The golden eyes of the dark lord shine like the sun and have a reflection on the blade of the sword. "Where did you get this armor and the sword from?! I will kill you for the theft." The dark lord says strangely. This causes anger in the black knight to attack. The fight begins. Each attack has a counter attack and so on…. The dark lord attack to the knight with the powerful claws and sword but the black knight tries to defend because doesn’t want to hurt him anymore. The black knight doesn’t want to kill the lord but suddenly the dark lord jumps toward the knight! The sound of tearing of the chest is heard. The sword goes through the body of the dark lord and gets out from the other side on the back." Sorry for calling you a thief, you had a talented coach for sure. You are really good in sword, even better than me, MY LADY, thank you for listening to my advice!!!!" says the dark lord. The knight takes out the helmet. The tears don’t let her say a word… he's kneeling on the sands and the sword fells down from her hands! "My LORD, MY LORD, I didn’t want to…" she yells.

The sky roars, it is lightening. The wind opens the windows violently. Panting; she wakes up suddenly in terrible way. Her cloths are completely wet because of her sweating. Her heart wants to jump out of her throat. Night mares again nightmares" she cries. Getting up; ...looking through the window to the moon which is RED

The hard decission

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 13:15:41 GMT

It's raining. The sky is covered with dark clouds, it roars like it's angry and wants to take revenge!! She's in her way to her own village; it's a long time that she was alone. If she wanted to live alone, she should have been taught very well in many cases. Looking downward, she's strolling! "I didn't deserve you" this is a voice that she hears but never dears to look back although the voice is not strange for her! She continues her way in rapid steps and takes out her razor to attack if anyone wants to hurt, the words repeated and repeated!

"Yes, I didn't deserve you my lady!" the word my lady wasn't strange for her, the familiar voice is another sign too. "This is my lord", doubtfully with a razor in her hand she looks back! But no one is behind her. A dark place full of trees which are naked, even though the trees must have been covered with green leaves and blooms in the spring. "My lord, are you there? Show me yourself, I'm afraid where you are?"

"Scarce is the price you paid! Do not live with that" that is the last things that is heard. "Who the hell are you?" she shouted but no answer!!!!

She decided to go on, but doesn't put the razor in its cover and keeps it in the whole way. She reaches to her village. A young man, with light eyes and bronze face, well dressed and handsome sits on her chair in the balcony of her house, his face looks so familiar to her, yes she knows him well. He stands up, and bows in front of her when he sees her, but wondered to see her in this torn dark dress with uncombed hair. "What the hell are you doing here? Again come here to destroy my life? Again wants to…" he interrupts her " No, I'm here just to help you because I've heard you pass really hard days, I just wanted to….."

She doesn’t wait he finishes his word and runs away. She was stimulated to come out of village again in order to find the knight and show then that they're wrong. The forest between her village and him is the distance which should be taken again. It's easier than the first time because she has those experiences. The horror of the dark place couldn't even cause a fear let alone the cold weather. She just looks forward in hope to find him in the end of the road where was a battle field, that a smoke coming out between trees attracts her attention that there is someone for sure so she runs fast.

An old man, in dark cloths, with white long hair and torn cloak sits there. He is in the same height as the lord. His tar was broken and he stared at the fire in front of him. Yes, this is that old man she saw once!!!! But with different appearance. "Finally you do come, girl?!" he says with trembling voice as he's waiting for her! "Yes sir, again I'm looking for my lord do you know where he is?" she asked with honor.

"Do not waste your time, you won't find him and if you do you will realize that he's not the man he was! Look at me, last time he helped me in killing enemies but this time a wolf attacked me he just saw and passed and I just could take it away and defend myself with fire. He has changed a lot my daughter! He went to a journey, if he returns, he won't be the one who you knew. He will become filthy. I advise you to live on your life and never get close to him. DO NOT BELIVE HIM IF HE EVEN SAYS I LOVE YOU!!!!DO NOT TRUST ON HIM AGAIN!!!" The old man says certainly.

She thinks that time trusted on him and never regret because he was right. He is really looking like her lord. She should trust him. She gets sure when she sees their engaged ring next to the fire. That ring was ring of laws and faith when he left it, it means they are broken!!! So the old man is right. She just says thank you with trembling voice which shouts crying!!! And starts to walk….

"Hey my daughter, I should confess something else too. He was loyal to you; I can swear and loved you much more than him. He left because he didn't want to hurt you. He told me he didn't deserve you…." The old man is talking and the lady is walking!!!" he was my whole life, I loved him too, he was my everything" she whispers.

She goes to their cottage which was made by the knight. The oven was dampened since he has left. It doesn't have any interesting things to her any more. Taking her sword; sitting on a chair and starting to sharpen it with a piece of stone, in the way that the lord taught her. Suddenly she feels something strange in her! She puts her hand on her heart but the heart beat has gone! No pulse is felt but the breath remains. How strange! Yes she is DEAD!!!!!!!! She's dead since she realized the old man's words are true. But the world isn't finished to her, she stand and runs to top of the hill, under the tree. Looking to her hands, they are pail as the blood doesn’t flow in the veins. She cuts her hand but no blood comes out! Startingََ to dig under the tree cry and cry but without any mourning or sound just the tears fell down. She takes out her ring, put it and the razor which were the only memory of him in that little puddle, and buried them. She makes a funeral for a love which started on 25of April and finished on 3 of May. The wind moves her dress and hairs in the way that she couldn't control. The nature is mournful for that too. Taking a deep breath; looking toward the endless road and running to the cottage. Takes out her dark dress and wears her armor instead, makes her hair up in pony tale style, takes her sword and keeps it harder in her hand, jumps on back of her white horse and ride to the hill where the road is behind. She takes a look to the cottage, wanted to fire it but she didn't. "One day we may return" she thinks loudly and rides to the endless road in the middle of the naked forest she disappears and the song is only thing is heard:

Hear the wind sing a sad, old song
it knows I'm leaving you today

Please don't cry, my heart will break
when I go on my way

Good-bye my love, good-bye, good-bye

As long as you remember me I'll never be too far good-bye my love, good-bye, I always will be true
so hold me in your dreams till I come back to you

See the stars in the skies above
they'll shine wherever I may roam
I will pray every lonely night
that soon they'll guide me home

The lord's letter

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 08:26:49 GMT

To my lady

Hey refugee bird, full of passion of leaving,

The distance between our worlds is large as a sea,

You are playing with butterflies and I'm thinking about our life,

You are looking forward the rose scent and I am looking for a piece of bread!

Your world is endless in which the light feast is seen everywhere,

My world is as small as a palm on top of an ice hill.

I am dying between these people, you're thinking about fairy tales!

I am spoiling in terrors of darkness; still you're telling me stories.

Life for me is like this; full of temptation and sorrows,

Or like breathing; full of instantly joy.

Hey, you who are full of passion of fly,

Exhaustion is like a burden on my bored body.

Like a wounded tiger, I am full of terrors of regard.

Dying but still looking for a shelter to hide,

You shouldn’t be alive like shallow shadows under the feet,

But you should have eternal shine like the sun on top of the hills.

The dark lord,

Unbreak my heart

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 10:29:33 GMT

Sitting on the hill, looking to the destroyed borders, No way to return home and no way to stay, has been left alone.

Her lord's family don’t accept her and better to say become a very strong enemy for her.

Disappointed, with so sense, looks around in order to find him in a battle, but there's no signs of battle. In a morning she receives a letter from his lord, he has written that he finds many friends whom …

She couldn't go on and finish the letter, tears it; a big sob fills her throat never wants to believe that his lord with that honor becomes a filthy guy like this. She runs and runs without any destination, until she reaches to the same mountain they were met for the first time!!! It's raining cat and dog!! Never dare to climb up; she doesn't know how to climb although she has been thought, her hands don’t have that much power to take the rocks one by one, she has become like a child, weak, coward, the things that lord hates a lot. Every thing has gone when he left!!!!

She just stands on a rock, and shouts and shouts like a baby, she believes that her lord will hear her voice where ever he is, even he doesn't want so she cries:

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Unbreak my heart

Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out of the door
And walked out of my life
Uncry these tears
I cried so many nights
Unbreak my heart
Take back that sad word goodbye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Unbreak my heart

No voice, no return,no reflection except ravens sounds flapping and waiting for a dead body to eat!!! May be she would be a good lunch for them she asks herself…

The Curse

Sat, 26 Mar 2011 09:52:20 GMT

It's late at night, but the cold wind doesn't blow, there's no sign of coldness although the winter is not finished. The warmth between the couple is more powerful than the cold weather. The lord is combing his horse which is completely in black! A huge and complete armor covers it in the way that seems it can't move. But the horse is stronger than this. The lady is trying to wear her armor which was made by hands of the knight. A silver armor from her toes to her neck. With special metals in the chest to overprotect her. When she wears her armor the lord comes to her, hugs her, kisses her forehead and put a metal handle in her hand. When she releases it, its weight overcomes the lady in the way that she can not handle it!!! Opening her eyes, she sees a sword with long blade and a hand made handle on which the name of the knight was stock. "My lady this is yours from now on you have a very special weapon in your hand, although I know it's a little bit heavy for you to carry but you must learn. The important point for you is not only to catty it but also could learn how to move it, dance it, defend of yourself and kill. This is a part of me in your hand. However it is your friend but it can be your enemy too. So always respect it and never betray it!" her smile and deep breathe shows her satisfaction and acceptance. After all when they become ready the lord helps the lady to get on the black horse. She knows how to ride but the lord gets its rein because it disobeys from anyone except him.

They start to walk to a town where his family is living. The breeze's going through her pony style hair like it combs them. Sometimes the lord has some glance on her with a sweet smile which is so strange on his brutish face. But he's like this just for his lady.

The lady gazes straight like she's so inpatient to reach to the town. They arrived to a hill that the knight tells the town is behind it. Top of the hill, a green tree winked!! They are amazed because the green tree with lots of branches and leaves is odd in this season. The wind moves the branches but this sound is different from the sound which was heard in the dark forest. They climb the hill up; on the top of it they stand. The town is under their feet. In the moonlight, the shadow of the lady on the horse and the young knight beside her is really glorious. The knight draws his sword, touches its blade, looks at it carefully and tells the lady so calm: "My lady, look at this town, I left my whole family in it, because they didn't respect me! I've got a lot of power from 13 years ago, I stood here exactly in this season, I was alone and promised to myself that never comeback till I gain power, I cursed them and left. Now I am here exactly in that situation but not lonely, and now I promise 10 years later I become the most powerful knight on the earth. We go on but I know you will face with many other or better to say new problems. Are you ready for them?"

"Yes my majesty" she says with shivering voice.

They start to walk to the town. The sun is rising from behind the mountain when they arrive. All the people stop doing whatever they've done and gaze at them. They walk proudly among them. Some children pointing them by fingers as they've heard a story about the knight and his lady!!! The strange silence of the town makes the OLD lady come out of the house with eyes full of tears but she's more proud to show any emotions. The knight takes the lady's hand, helps her to get off from the horse, goes toward his mother, the lady is following him with 5 feet distance behind, kneel on one of his knees, put his head down, takes his mothers hand and kisses it. The old lady hugs and kisses his son and tells him how she's missed him since he had gone! They have really nice time there. Drink, dance, eat, play, exercise…

The old lady tries to teach many life rules to the young lady and the lord is thinking about future and his battles while they're laughing and doing their chores. Days and nights pass, everything is good till one morning:

The sun shines to lady's eyes among the satin curtain of her room window and tries to wake her up. She wakes up, closing eyes, touching the bed to find her knight but he's not her. She is afraid, getting out from the bed quickly and running in the alley, looking left and right but no sign!!! She thinks he might have gone to a battle, but no, without her?!! In the way back to home she sees him dancing with a lady in red in a café, cheek to cheeks laughing and flirting. When he realizes she's behind the window releases the girls hand and runs toward her but she escapes. Finally he could find her near a frozen river after a long running. She cries and her tears are like a crystal on her cheeks. The knight sits beside her angrily because he thinks she wanted to put her nose in his works and spy again but he's wrong. "Why did you betray me? Why did you break the rules? Why did you break your swear? Why did you lie to me? Do you love …?" he closes her lops by a finger and says" hush, I didn't betray you and didn't break any rules, the lady whom you've seen was a spy from our enemies, she wanted to buy me and I decided to hunt and get out all of their battle plans from her. She is a filthy girl and far from the beauty I love. So be patient my lady from now on I promise to inform you from all my plans".

The lady tries to believe because she wants to!! But this time is the second time that her heart breaks. She accepts and goes with the knight again but a dark point remains in corner of her heart.

One day the lord gets to the house in a hurry. He's so furious and his hands shivers, his face is like a bowel on fire!! The lady is practicing her exercises by sword when she sees him" what's up my lord?" "Look what you've done?!! You've broken the rules not me!! See what they say about you! You've done all the things I said not to do any more, you've wear forbidden cloths in the feast and you've talked with those who were prohibited to talk with, that was not the time for it, we should have been prepared for the most important and dangerous battle but now…" he shouts. "You're wrong this is a misunderstanding" she cries, but the knight doesn't pay attention and leaves the house angrily, jumps on his horse and rides to the far!!! The lady can not tolerate, she wears her armor, takes her sword, gets on her white horse which was a gift from the Old lady and rides to find him.

After riding miles the sound of swords and yelling men attracts her attentions. This is the place where the lord might have been found in. she rides without hesitation, takes out her sword and rides toward the battle field.

The knight is killing anyone who wants to get near to him; he's surrounding by 10s but can overcome all of them just by one move of his sword. She is watching them, doesn’t know to interfere or not. After killing many, he gets between two huge enemies, one of them if fighting by sword and other one is an axe man who is getting near from back. She sees this situation and thinks there's no time for hesitation. He moves his hand up to cut the knights head from back, the lady, shouting with her sword up, passes from his side with and with a move of the sword drops of blood fills the face of the knight and enemies hand with axe in it fells down.

The knight turns back to see what it was! That he sees his lady with frightened face. "What the hell are you doing here? Who told you to get in?" he says with wonders. "I want you my lo…" she's interrupted suddenly, gazes at him a drop of blood comes down from the corner of her lips and she fells down. Yes she was attacked by an arrow from behind in her back. Both of them are surprised. He thinks to himself "I killed every body, who the hell was he?" He hugs her and tries to rise her up and takes her to a cave where seems to be a safe place. "Why did you fight my lord?" she asks with pauses. "I've heard your tribe thinks I've stolen you, they came to fight and took you from me", He replies. The lady is wounded so hard. Plenty of blood is getting out of her body and the wound is going to infect. The knight says that he should go to find something to heal her wound and stop bleeding. The lady worries that he might not come back but the only thing he thinks about is how to survive her. That night is really hard night for her, her lord has left her and she can hear the voice of her tribes shouting and calls her name. She is freezing but not because of the blood she lost or the cold weather, because of the lack of hope she shivers. She doesn't have even a candle to light up. So she decides to close her eyes to see her knight dream.

The knight goes to his town suddenly he sees the township are gathering soldiers and making new weapons, he runs to his mother who is the patriarch of the town and asks her what's going on there. She answers that they're preparing corps to attack your lady's tribe because they insulted us!!! The knight knows a disaster will be happened if so. He tries a lot to satisfy them not to do that even he has to fight with them and not only this fight doesn’t bring good things for him but also takes many valuable thins like honor and proud from him. They order him to obey or leave for ever and he chooses to….

The sun is setting but no news of him. She decides to go and look for him again!!!! She gets near the town but bodies on the ground tell her something else!!! She sees the border is destroyed and the knight stands gazing at destructions. "What's happened here my majesty?" she asks.

"Don't call me by this name again girl!!!!, see your tribe have done this mercy to me and my family. Look at the innocent people who are killed because they wanted to defend. The most powerful knight's family should face with this disaster!? They've destroyed all the things I gained for 13 years. They told me to leave them. I've lost my honor and told you before never let them attack, destroy and break my border. They've done this so you should be punished for that too. Hey girl, from now on you are not my lady, I've chosen my life to destroy anything which has done this to me even you. I leave you because if I don’t they will revenge from you and spoil all the things you have. Now you are kind of enemy to them, so I've chosen the best way to get you out of reach of them that not hurt you!!!!" he says with hatred.

"No please wait. You are wrong, I was with you, I'm not with them, and I promise you to relief all of them!!! I've left all of them because of you and you shouldn't leave me alone in this situation, please give me one more chance" she begs. But nothing can change his decision. He has become a heartless and cruel guy for the lady too.

"Girl, you think you were! But you've left me alone and break my concentrations when I needed it. I do this believe this would be better, if they attack your tribe both of us will ruined and nothing will leave. I want to live in a nasty way. Even I made decision to sleep with other girls, if you are okay so come on and if not GOODBYE. So let us be separated with honor" he says and leaves her in that destruction.

Now she is alone with a broken heart and destroyed mind. She doesn’t know what to do, wait or … she doesn’t even know he will do those nasty things he said or not... But she knows something clearly:

She doesn’t have any way to return to her hometown, she doesn’t want to live in fancy. All of her dreams are ruined and she is afraid of getting filthy. She knows she can not love anyone because he has taken her sense and soul. She can not trust on anyone because he was the only one who she trusted on!!! She knows if he didn’t leave her what would happen. Yes, a new battle and a slaughter. He might have done the best thing maybe he has done a favor to her but…

Life seems to be ended. Nothing can do this crime except a CURSE. She hopes it is broken and doesn’t chase the rest of her life however life is meaningless to her as many other things.

Destination separates the teacher from the apprentice…

The sun is setting, she sits lonely with an open wound and gazes at the dust which is raised from his riding horse, and a big question is in her mind…..

Reunion

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 12:02:23 GMT

It's a special night, although the coldness and the wild wind are like other winter's nights. The lady sits in front of fire, gazing at it. The wind tries to smothers the fire, but she doesn’t attempt to prevent, there's no difference to her because she can't feel anything since her love's gone. Something strange attracts her attention! Yes, again she sees the lord in the fire but this time a little bit different. He is fighting with an unknown enemies, the fog surrounds him which doesn’t let her see his face clearly. He yells while turning around with the sword" WHERE ARE YOU MY LADY? I NEED YOU HERE!" shouting his name and asking where he is, she tries to get near to the fire. "HERE IS A SEVERE BATTLE, I NEED YOUR SUPPORT BUT DO NOT COME IF YOU ARE NOT REDAY!!!" he says.

Suddenly a strong wind blows and shuts the fire down. She stands up, looks around herself and thinks about which way should be chosen in order to get to her lord. The wind moves her hair to a direction, as someone pulls them. When she turns to that way,she sees a light flashing at the end of the forest between those tall trees. She starts to run unintentionally for miles, following that light. A village seems to be near but she is doubtful whether it is real or a mirage.She runs all that night.At this time her foot sticks to something which makes her felling down. She looks behind to recognize what it is, she sees a dead body with an arrow in his back and a sword next to him. It seems he's escaping from somewhere whom has been attacked. She is afraid, tries to stand up. Feeling wet makes her think she has fallen in a puddle because the black dress doesn't show her the color but the red liquid on her hands represents nothing except blood. The sword, blood and the dead body are sings of fight therefore she realizes she is getting near to battle field.

The dawn is breaking, the scent of her lord is stronger than anytime before and leads her to a way where is completely in fog. Absence of trees tells her that the forest is finished here. She gets slowly near and near, puts her steps in a new place where she has never been before, a battle field!!!! Nothing is heard except battle cry and sound of swords striking each other and nothing is seen except splashing blood in the air. A man in the same height and body of the knight is fighting very professional by his sword. The sword is not only a defensive object for him, but also is a part of his hand that is moved easily as it weights like a feather. She moves her head and tries to heighten her height by standing on her toes in order to reach her sight to see him clearly but she's unsuccessful. With an incidence of a sword and yelling of a man the death silence fills every where.

She walks hesitantly forward. Every step she takes the sound of walking on the blood, bones and armors is heard. The shadow of a man makes her more curious to go further. The man who is full armored hasn't seen her because he starts to walk on his way and she follows him. He gets to a stone which is like a chair, sits on it while keeping a sword in his hand. The scent of death is everywhere and the sound of ravens, flapping above bodies to have their meal is heard. His shallow breath shows he is not tired as he's got used to these kinds of battles. He has sat on the stone, one of his hands is on his knee, the other one is on the sword and tip of bloody sword touches the ground. The helmet is shining on his head like a crown. His feet are steady on the ground as they have never separated from it or never kneeled down! Yes, he looks completely like a king.

He moves his head up and sees a young lady in black dress that looks worry. "MY LADY, ARE YOU HERE?" he shouts. Now she becomes sure that he is her lord, so runs toward him and kneels down in front of his feet. She wants to put her head up to see him clearly but a strange powerful force pushes it down. That force is his glory! He puts his hand on her shoulders, stands her up, hugs her, kisses her and asks " WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE MY LOVE?!"

"I'VE BEEN MISSING YOU MY LORD, IT IS SO LONG THAT YOU'VE LEFT ME ALONE, YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME TO COME HERE" she replies.

The lady looks down to conceal her tears and the lord looks up to do so! " I'VE BEEN MISSING YOU TOO MY LADY, BUT AS YOU SEE I'M IN A VERY HARD MISSION, I'VE TO FIGHT WITH MANY ENEMIES IN WHICH I NEED YOUR SUPPORT" he cries. She doesn't scare anymore because she has seen more dangerous and experienced more severe things in his absence.

"WHAT CAN I DO MY LORD TO HELP AND STAY WITH YOU?" she asks. "AT FIRST YOU SHOULD LEARN NOT TO SCARE, SECOND LEARN TO KEEP A SWORD IN YOR HAND, THIRD NEVER AFRAID OF ACHE AND THE LAST ATTACK ANY ONE WHO WANTS TO HURT YOU AND YOUR LIFE. IN ALL OF THEM YOU SHOULD BE COURAGEOUS MOREOVER THE MOS IMPORTANT THING IS YOR WILL TO CONTINUE. IF YOU'RE STIIL DOUBTFUL, I SUGGEST YOU NOT TO ENTER AND RETURN TO THAT VILLAGE. FROM NOW ON YOU MUST NOT SHIVER ANYMORE" he warns her.

But this is the lady who has made her decision and has passed that way to get to the knight. "I'M READY FOR EVERYTHING MY LORD, IF I WASN'T I WOULDN'T HAVE PASSED THIS LONG JOURNEY AMONG THAT FRIGHTENING FOREST TO FIND YOU,TRUST ME PLEASE" she says. The way she talks ensures the lord that she's been changed by facing with difficult situations which she had when she was alone in that forest. He decides to trust again.

He teaches her how to keep a sword in her hand and how to defend. This shows that her mission hasn't been finished. She has learned that each door she passes through is not an ending but can be an opening to another door which leads her to a new world.

HURT

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 17:38:39 GMT

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of whom I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
to have just one more chance
to look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

Hesitation

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 17:32:12 GMT

The road is too long and she has to pass it whether to find the body or….

In one hand she doesn't want to believe that he has died. On the other hand she doesn’t want to believe he is alive. Both of them have a kind of casualty to her. There's lightening, a huge sound of sky with a white light brightens the forest, but again no rain.

She looks up to the sky. She feels a burden on her heart. Oh God, what is it? She wonders. She walks and walks but a very small candle of hope lights up her heart and gives her feet the power of going on. She talked with herself about his guy, she admires him and cries.

An old man in dark cloths, with long hair, powerful hands is seen, playing tar. He looks so familiar to her, his body, gesture and even his smell. Yes, she sees her lord in him. She runs and stands in front of him. The old man gazes at her like he wants to tell her something or knows where she comes from and for what!!

Why are you here young lady? He asks,

What are you looking for?

She replies: I'm looking for my knight, he has gone to a battle but he won't come back.

Why he won't? The old man asks

Because I've heard he is dead. I am looking for his body to bury him with honor.

Now I want to say something to you young girl, are you ready for that? He says

It seems he knows something about the knight.

She replies: sure just tell me. Do you have any news? Or have you seen him?

YES MY GIRL. I KNOW HE IS ALIVE AND LOVES YOU AS BEFORE BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS NOW AND WHAT HE IS DOING!!!

But you should know something if you want him back you must go on in this dark forest to find him. Now you don’t have any special news. You don’t have those last guaranties. Even you don’t know whether he loves someone or not. He tells his love story for me. Now it's the time for you to test yourself, to control your mind and be strong. Otherwise you won't find even his body. This is the last warning and chance for you. So seize these moments and walk on the proper way. I advise you to correct your faults.

Her heart trembles. Her hands shivers, she doesn't know to be happy or sad. She hesitates to go on or bury him in her heart for eternity." If he be alive and be with someone?! If he doesn't want me?! If….. No I should try my best. I will go but if I see him from top of the town hand in hand with someone else I won't go further, will leave and forget him forever. But it's my opportunity to show him".

She left the old man, keeps on going, thinks on his words, and she starts to whisper a song with sorrow

Memory

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 17:24:58 GMT

The lady keeps going on her way to find the body of the knight but she's tired and decides to seat on a rock in the middle of the dark forest. It's too cold so she tries to make fire. She knows how to make it because her lord was an expert in that.

She makes fire and gazed in the yellow, red and blue colors are being seen in the flames of fire. Heat of the fire reminds her something. She closes her eyes and remembers the first time the knight kissed her. She feels warmer because that time her body was touched by the warm hands of the knight in a warm day of spring.

She starts to cry and mourn. Suddenly the face of the knight appears in the fire and asked: why are you crying? Have I make u upset by kissing u? The words are familiar!!!

The wind is blowing and moving the branches and makes a harsh and roaring sound which makes her fear. The fire is going to be turned off by the wind but she doesn't let in order to see his face more and talk to him. She shouts his name and asks: where can I find you? He replies: I am so near to you.

I AM IN YOU!!!!

She feels his breath and smell. She cries: do not go. Stay with me I 'm afraid.

He says: BE STRONG MY LADY. DO NOT SCARE.NOTHING CAN SEPARATE US EXEPT YOUR SCARCE. I AM THE PRICE!!!!

Again she hears repeated words. Yes, they were the words which were said at that first day at the mountain where they kissed for the first time.

That time they were at a high place hand in hand, close, in one of the most beautiful warm days of the spring and now she stands in a dark forest at one of the coldest day of winter, lonely!!!!

SHE HAS PAYED THE PRICE!!!!!!!!

My Immortal

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 12:45:51 GMT

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
by your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me